it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
