I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
