barbara walters just said penis...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need moral support for this bender
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
