how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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