Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
