The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This toilet bowl is my home.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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