Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
