That's intense
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
