She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
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I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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