a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
