It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
