My nipple is on Facebook.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
