try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
