I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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