Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
