I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
