i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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