absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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