matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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