Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
