probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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