Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
