Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
