Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's Friday. Sex?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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