i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have post one night stand depression
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