Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
