we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
