don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
