gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
