Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
