She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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