i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
