whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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