she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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