Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
