biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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