Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
