Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
