I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
