you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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