After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
