i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's the barista slut.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
