Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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