is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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