Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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