there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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