By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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