I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
