I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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