Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
