you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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