it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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