And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
