I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
