i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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