worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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