I think i peed on brittanys purse
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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