weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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