so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
