you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
