She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
