yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
