All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
