check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
